The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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