we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
