To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
