Im at strip club and am horny
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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