He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize