Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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