i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
