Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
