hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
