Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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