If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
