take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
