Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
