i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
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Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
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I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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