I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
