I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
