another moral hangover. fuck.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
