so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
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I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
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My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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