Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I checked into jail on foursquare
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
