you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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