i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
