WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize