Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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