you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
