I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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