two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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