I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
