giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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