Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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