He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
