There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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