its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
