that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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