i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
one might say we're banned from that church
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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