Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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