I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
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I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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