If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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