Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
