I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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