dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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