Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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