another moral hangover. fuck.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
