ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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