Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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