did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
