Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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