Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
