Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
