I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
