So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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