My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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