Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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