So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
