Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
