yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Im part way to drunk.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
