You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
