i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
