He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
