I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
