We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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